The mind is a terrible thing to waste...

The greatest frustration of my live is our societies’ the mistaken believe that intellectual thought is an activity reserved for the classroom and as a means to establish our intellectual superiority over others, as religious piety is reserved for church, and the assertion of moral superiority over the “unbelievers”. There is - I am afraid - a growing consensus among the young that intelligence is a thing to be cultivated only by those who lack all other desirable qualities (money, physical beauty, or God given social graces). What consequences this belief might have for our country in latter years I shutter to think. Do to my relative isolation I have grown up free from the gross assertion of my peers. In truth I am starved of genuine intellectual discourse. I have a hunger for knowledge uncommon for my age, and as of yet unrivaled by any but my professors, whose age gives them the advantage over me. In the absence of simulation my mind, like the body, ejaculates on to the page without fruition, as the spasm of lust remains unfulfilled in the absence of passion. Intellectual thought is the seed, which impregnates the mind, without which nothing creatively is born. The mind can as easily starve as the body, and the mind as they say; “is a terrible thing to waste.”

Conversations with the Universe

I really wish we could have conversation. I really wish we could have relationship. I wish you could recognize me as a human being, as an individual independent of the views and assertions of my peers. I wish this could be about me, and my beliefs, views, fears, hopes, and dreams. I wish you could see me for smart, funny, remarkable girl that I am. I wish you could appreciate the fact that I don’t judge people base on the color of their skin, their religion, their political views, or their sexual orientation. I wish you could understand how I can be open to new ideas without being threatened by. I wish you could comprehend how I can embrace diversity and yet my values remain. I wish you could see the world the way I see it. I wish you could be proud of me. But I know that will never happen, because you don’t acknowledge me at all. I am an actor, a puppet, a figment of your imagination. I have a role to perform, there is plot to follow, a satisfactory conclusion to arrive at. But life doesn’t work that way. We each write our own lines, and we each have our own stories, and that is a beautiful. I’m trying to make you do any thing. You are being quite out of my control. I have ceased to expect something of people, and I have begun to accept them for what they are: flawed, imperfect creations struggling to find meaning.

The master sees things as they are
Without trying to control them.
She lets them go their own way
And resides at the center of the circle

The master does his job
And then stops
He understands that the universe
Is for ever out of control,
And that trying to dominate events,
Goes against the Tao.
Because he believes in himself,
He doesn’t try to convince others.
Because he is content with himself,
He doesn’t need others approval,
Because he accepts himself,
The whole world accepts him.
-Tao Te Ching

I’m just trying to have a conversation.

All the little pieces

I have been rethinking a lot of things. Contemplating the conundrum of nature virus nurture. How much of our make up is determined by our genetic predispositions and how much is a product of our environment. These thoughts are largely stirred by introspection. Examining the various components that fabricate our psychology and physiology.

Knowing others is wisdom;
Knowing the self is enlightenment.
Mastering others requires force;
Mastering the self requires strength;
He who knows he has enough is rich.
Perseverance is a sign of will power.
He who stays where he is endures.
To die but not to perish is to be eternally present.
- Laozi

I am compelled to analysis my own progress, my curious disposition and the state of paradox in which I exist in juxtaposition to my sister’s perplexing behavior. Is it not strange that we can be made of the same blood and bone, be raised in the same house, and yet be so different from each other? I always attributed my abnormalities to my unconventional up bringing, but now I am deprived of an explanation, which might vindicate the anomaly I represent.

I wish that...

I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch with you over the last few months things have been chaotic at best. Do you ever get the over whelming sense that you can’t do anything right? I’m sure we all feel that way sometimes. I currently feel buried under these sensations. Exhausted in the effort to correct my predicament. I wish I could emancipate my self from the contradicting expectations of those around me. I wish that for a moment I might be seen as the imperfect yet beautiful creature which God made in his image rather then the in relation to another. I am not the reflection of my friends, my family even our society. I am not simply the byproduct of our materialistic culture. I am not simply the ill begotten child of our patriarchal Western culture and post-feminist ideology. I am - as we all are – the product of millions of years of evolution, the summary of all things past, and the potential of the future. I wish that people could see other this way rather then reflections upon themselves. But then that is simply wishful thinking.

Art and Instinct

Accurate depiction of the human face depends upon an in-depth understanding of the complexes inter workings of the underlying bones, muscles, and fatty tissue which comprise the face, and collectively composed all aspects of the human expression. As we learn in the study of art, understanding the object and seeing the object are not one in the same, and it is often the latter that yelds to the former in a Neo-classical pursuit of perfection through a standardized ratio of proportions. In short; expressionism is lost to perfectionism, naturalism is lost to verism, and the portrait is lost all together.

Victim: Analysis of Susan Minot’s “Lust”

The depraved behavior of delinquent, adolescent girls has been a cultural fascination for years. From Freud’s studies of the female malady to Nikki Reed‘s film depiction of teenage girls in the movie Thirteen. Behavior reported to be so debase it has become an integral part of our cultural mythos. Susan Minot’s “Lust” is a startling, real life example of wanton behavior in teenage girls. What disturbs me most in reading “Lust” is not its protagonist’s actions but their reflection of a pervasive cultural phenomenon; that is the propensity of young women victimizing themselves to their own emotional impulses.

In the instance of Minot’s protagonist, she victimizes herself to her our sexual impulses. In essence victimizing herself to her male counter parts. In the early part of the twentieth century this must have been rooted in women’s dependence on men. What is strange to me is that we see an insurgence in this kind of behavior from women directly after their emancipation. No longer politically forced to depend on men, girls continue to perpetuate emotional dependence on members of the opposite sex. Evaluating one another on what is in essence the possession of a mate.

Throughout “Lust” there is continued reference to peer pressure. Minot provides this paragraph, which is given in the first person (as is the rest of the story), as though in explanation of her actions. "I thought the worst thing anyone could call you was a cock-teaser. So, if you flirted, you had to be prepared to go through with it. Sleeping with someone was perfectly normal once you had done it (285)."

This is an excellent example of an antiquated way of thinking, which sadly persists among young girls in our culture to this day. It distresses me to see girls in the twenty-first century who perpetuate this form of self-victimization. Minot’s protagonist constantly employs words like “lust” and “sex” but continuously refuses to take responsibility for herself as a sexual being throughout the narrative.

Consciously or subconsciously she victimizes herself to her own desires. It is apparent in her narrative that the protagonist instigates relations with men, then in the aftermath feels somehow cheated, yet she refuses to initiate change on her own behalf, continuing to play victim to her repetitive behavior.
You do everything they want. "Then comes after. After when they don’t look at you. They scratch their balls, stare at the ceiling… You’re gone. Their blank look tells you that the girl they were fucking is not there anymore. You seem to have disappeared (288)."

With this paragraph Minot closes her story of debauchery. There is something unsettling about these last few sentences. The paragraph concludes the narrative seemingly without resolution, leaving the reader to assume the protagonist’s resignation to her continual self-victimization.

Though “Lust” was published in 1984 Minot’s story underlines the alarming behavior of young girls to this day. “Lust” acts almost as a window into the minds of many adolescent girls, as we follow Minot from her first sexual experience to her own feelings of dissatisfaction and debasement.

What should be viewed as alarming is not the actions of girls of Minot’s generation, or the generation of girls entering their adolescence today, but that Minot’s generation in the aftermath of their reckless youth and the psychological ramifications thereof, become the mothers of the girls now entering their adolescence today. These girls will continue to perpetuate their victimization to their own sexual impulses upon one another, to what greater social ramifications are uncertain.

Understanding Ourselves: Through Study of the Ancient World

Ancient Greece has inspired artists, writers, painters, sculptors, actors, musicians, poets, play writes, philosophers, and even sociologist for centuries. Ancient Greek tragedy inspired Shakespeare in his own play writing. The Greek conception of democracy created the groundwork upon which our country rests. Greek art and thought is arguably, as Simon Goldhill makes the case in his book, Love, Sex, and Tragedy, the foundation of Western Culture. The author states in his brief introduction: “To speak of culture in the modern West is to speak of Greek (1).” A thesis Goldhill supports well throughout his relatively short book. The evidence he provides is almost overwhelming; mathematics, democracy, science, philosophy, sociology all have their roots in ancient Greece. What is the importance of such facts? What are the implications of this to the modern individual?

It is the idea that the assertion of the individual is based on a comprehensive understanding of the past, and it’s implication on the world as a whole. We are living in a time, Goldhill insists, that demands a comprehensive cultural understanding of identity, which he believes can be gained through conclusive study of early Western civilization; namely Greece. Citizens of the modern West can see Greek influence is not only present in science, ligature, politics, mathematics, and theater, but it is also in our everyday lives, most obviously in our architecture. Much in the same way our founding fathers built the constitution, and our country, around Greek ideals of democracy, so too did they constructed the very buildings, which house these ideals under principals of Greek design. You do not have to live in Washington however to see the pervasive influence of classical style upon our nation. You can see it in the pillars on a bank or courthouse, and most obviously in statuary, and relief work. These are just a few examples.

Neo-Classical art surrounds us every day, in sculpture, and in the visual arts, so much so we probable don’t even recognize it. If we were conscious of it, we would see its influence in advertising of all forms: magazines, books, television, billboards, movies, and on the web. Most importantly, we would see its influence on the way we view and evaluate the human form. Polykleitos's canon of proportions still defines much of the way we portray the ideal male form today. Our modern image of the strong, youthful, and athletic male has hardly changed in the last three thousand years, from the early Greek depictions of the Kouros. Why then is the depiction of Venus seen as so sensual and erotic to a society, which has abandoned the Greek representation of the female form for a skinnier, more muscular, arguably less effeminate model? More importantly, and more generally, why are the images that were created more then 2,000 years ago so powerful to the modern view?

Before reaching a conclusion on these questions, let us explore some other Greek contributions to Western culture, which may help to explain the impact of art Greek art on the modern individual, namely science and history. The Greek enlightenment – the birth of objective study and subsequently the d isciplines of mathematics, history, medicine, astrology, and other related disciplines. The enlightenment represented a historic shift away from superstition, and toward a factual understanding of the physical world. Simon Goldhill quotes one Greek scientist as saying:“What I offer is a true picture of the world scientifically observed and described. I tell you how the physical world works. Those who old stories about how things came into being are just myths (312).”

In the over three thousand since the discipline of scientific study emerged in Greece, science itself has made great technological advancements. Enhancing our understanding of the physical world around us, mans’ evolution and later development, as well as the universe outside our own solar system. Yet in the twenty-first century, we still cling to cultural and religious mythos, which contradict our understanding of science.

One of the most commonly seen examples of this is in Christianity, which clings to “literal interpretation of the Bible…as the word of God” while being perpetually disproved, again and again, by overwhelming scientific evidence. Martin Luther was once quoted as saying: “Reason is the greatest antagonist of faith.” It might well be argued today that myth and belief in the supernatural is the greatest antagonist to science.

What should be question is not the validity of these myths, but why, since prehistory, has man been spurred to create these fantastic narratives, and why in the twenty-first century, post Greek enlightenment, are we personally propelled and stirred by what are referred to as “just myths.” Why do we, as a people, return again and again to these so-called “myths” for personal guidance and a sense of cultural and religions identification? In the subconscious of the modern individual lingers the need for a grander, personal, more powerful explanation for existence, which is fulfilled by our culturally condoned mythos.

What is it that these myths fulfill in us? Why are we attracted to the supernatural over what we recognize to be scientific fact? I would argue that though the supernatural bares no resemblance to reality, or the natural world as we are aware of it, but rather depends on recognizable patterns in human behavior and characteristics found all over the world. The Greeks reconized this, and it’s potential for metaphor. Greek myth creates a world in which the Greek play writes could explore the many facetted characteristics of man in both an intellectual and visual sense. Centaurs are an excellent example of this. Half man, half beast, the centaur represented to the Greeks the duality of mans’ nature. To summarize the necessity for myth in the modern and ancient world, is to say that myth is mans’ exploration of the human experience through metaphor.

While a chronological history of the ancient world may help us understand the world around us, it furthers our understanding of the private interior world of the individual little. Greek theater and myth has gone a long way in furthering our modern understanding of sociology. When we speak of an individual as being narcissistic, we are drawing upon our cultural understanding of the Greek myth, much in the same way the later Western sociology and philosophy draws upon similar Greek archetypes. Sigmund Freud drew upon the story of Oedipus in his study of sexuality, when he made the bold proclamation that all male children unconsciously desire to bed their mother. The German philosopher and classical scholar Friedrich Nietzsche wrote about the human soul as being divided into two parts; the Dionysian and the Apollian, based upon the Greek gods Apollo and Dionysos. If Greek scientific study laid the groundwork for modern medicine, then I would argue that Greek tragedy became the foundation of modern psychology.

Perhaps it is the way in which Greek myths have come to represent the underlying faults, human foibles, tragic flaws, heroic aspirations, romantic love, subconscious desires, jealousy, and a myriad of other aspects and characteristics of the human being, that make Ancient Greek depictions of these myths so powerful today. It is the essential idea that is embodied by Greek art of the essential human experience. Greek art is at the core of our being, as citizens of the Western World. It defines so much of our understanding of our intellectually and materially weather we are aware of it or not, and makes the understanding and study of Greek art integral to our self-awareness.

Goldhill, Simon, Pro. Love, Sex & Tragedy: How the Ancient World Shapes Our Lives.
London: John Murray. 2004. p. 1. 312